Just for a second

It happened.  Just for a second.   I was happy again.  Just for a second.  On my way home from tennis, singing out loud, loudly to one of my favorite songs.   And just for a second, I was happy.   Do you notice those seconds?  I think most people don't recognize the happy seconds.  But in that second, I felt it.  I noticed it.  I knew it.  And...I cried.  

Strange reaction?  Possibly. Why did I cry, you might be wondering?  The most obvious reason is I cried because I felt guilty.  I'm not supposed to ever be happy again, right?  That's what you feel when you lose someone significant.  Someone you loved more than life itself.  I'm supposed to remain sad.   Not even one second of happiness.  So, I cried. 

But besides that, mostly I cried because in that second I realized I COULD  be happy again!  It's a possibility.  Maybe just maybe, there will be happiness again in my future.  I know this seems odd to those who haven't been here but trust me, this was an epiphany.  A huge revelation.  A life changing moment.  

And all of this took place in just a second of time.