The following is a paid program

Despite over 400 cable channels, there still comes that moment late at night or early in the morning, depending on your perspective, where there is nothing to watch.  For someone who's struggling with insomnia, the most dreaded words are "the following is a paid program."    It means I've slipped into the zone.  The zone of abnormal.  The vampire zone, I like to call it.  But mostly it feels like the loser zone.  The "here we go again" zone.  

It was awful in the beginning.  I never fell asleep before 3 or 4 a.m.   If I tried to close my eyes sooner, the nightmares came.  I relived that last night in full technicolor detail.  So, I waited until I was near collapse from exhaustion to try and sleep.  I waited until I knew I wouldn't dream.  I sought help from my doctor who prescribed a sleep aid.  Only made me feel more abnormal.  

So I was determined.  

Now, I'm asleep by midnight most nights.  And I can fall asleep without the help of prescription medication.  And I'm no longer haunted by those words "the following is a paid program."  Another step on the road back to the world of normal.